International Quality of Life Awards and New York Study Trip

Happy end of the semester! We've made it another season, and the new year approaches. Many of you know I recently took a trip to New York City on a class trip. One of my assignments while there was to take photographs and create a photo journal blog with them upon my return. I wanted to share that blog with you along with the other great blogs written by my classmates. 

I hope you enjoy these many reads and the pictures that go along with them. 

Just follow the link to the IQLA website and in case you get lost it's the December 2014 posts you want! 

Stay Sassy, A. 

http://wp.auburn.edu/humsci/2014/12/page/2/ 

Dear Fans

    I think it is important to say I haven't written a blog since August - a testament to grad school and football season. 

Speaking of football, that is the whole reason for this post. It is also important to say that I am not a fan who can name players and their position or name plays or fouls, but I know about being a fan and I know about sportsmanship. It is for those reasons that  I believe I have something to say.

Dear Fans, 

     Yes, I said fans, because we are all fans or one team or another. I write this after Auburn's loss to Georgia. A tough loss, but one I was expecting. Of course we always hope our team will win, but we can't be blindly optimistic. 

     Before I address some big issues, let's talk about Auburn. 

In 2012, we went 0-8 in the SEC - the worst we had done in 60 years. 

In 2013, we went 7-1 in the SEC - and an SEC Championship. 

     Now, I think it's safe to say that 2013 was a miracle year. We were the underdogs who came out on top, and we were high on life. But, every good thing must come to an end and this year we just received our third loss. Let me repeat - THIRD LOSS- let's think... could it be worse? If you think the answer is no then you aren't a good Auburn fan, because a true Auburn fan doesn't cheer for championships, a true Auburn fan cheers for the team, the school, and the city. 

Let's not forget why we are Auburn fans in the first place. 

"And because Auburn men and women believe in these things, I believe in Auburn and love it." 

-George Petrie (1945)

      Now, let's talk about being a fan. Whether you cheer for the SEC or the Pack Ten or the Big Twelve or the NFL, we all have a team. And we all know that team is much more than a team, it's our family. Where else can you surround yourself with thousands of strangers and everyone be there for one purpose - to cheer on guys who have dedicated basically their lives to entertain us? Football is the heart and soul of, at the risk of sounding cliche', America. Many of us live for Saturday's, Sunday's and whatever other days NFL comes on. 

     Here's the deal

 - WE HAVE GOT TO QUIT SHAMING OTHER TEAMS- 

     If you cheer for a team, that's your team. Don't seek to put down other teams because your team has lost or won. I cannot tell you how many of my own friends sought me out to rub in Auburn's loss to A&M. I'm here to say friends, that is not what football is about. Not only is it unsportsmanlike, you never know what next week will hold for your own team. Heavy is the crown of the winner, and the mighty fall hard. 

     

     I beseech you, stop bringing down other teams. Let each team and fan handle the wins and losses within that 'family.' Let us not forget, we are all here for the same reason - to lift up our team. 

Sincerely, 

A concerned fan  

I believe in Auburn and love it

Stay Sassy, 

A. 

17 Facts About Dating In Today's World

Well, I turned 23. 

    If you had asked 13 year-old me where I would be in ten years I can guarantee you single and graduate school would not be her answer.  And yet, here I am at 23 and my biggest commitment is my dog. Don't get me wrong I don't hate my life, it's just not how I imagined it would be. 

    But on nights like this, while I sit on my porch with a martini in my hand and Banks at my feet I admit I have mixed emotions. 

    I never really mind be single until I'm with my friends and their significant others. I'm used to being the odd one out, I've even grown to enjoy being the single friend. I am especially thankful for the single life the more I try to enter the dating. 

    Growing up dating appeared to be this magical experience where boys and girls went out on all these neat adventures and would either a) stay friends b) be heart broken c) fall in love. Well I'm here to tell you that it is WAY more complicated than that. 

1. By definition a "date" rarely happens. Nowadays we "hangout."
2. Don't even think about analyzing the difference. 
3. Boys made up the term "just talking" because girls needed a label. 
4. There are too many labels to even begin to list them. 
5. If in case you do get to label it "dating" it does not mean you are only "dating" that one person. 
6. If you want a serious, monogamous relationship you must actually state this.
7. Never assume. 
8. Don't hop on the feelings train by yourself. 
9. "Expectation is the root of all heartache." - William Shakespeare 
10. NEVER, I mean NEVER, think you can change them. 
11. There is an art to texting to which no one will ever master. 
12. If you do text make sure it's non-committal. 
13. The "friend zone" is real. 
14. And it has 3 zones - Friend, Friendly and Friendlier. 
15. There is a fine line between pretending to be uninterested and actually being uninterested. 
16. You can't be a prude, but you also can't be a hussy - another fine line. 
17. Last, but not least, remember The Dating Game - where the rules are made up and the points don't matter. 

Stay Sassy - A. 

     

World Cup 101

With the beginning of the World Cup there is always the same argument - why should I care about soccer? 

Well, I'd like to clarify why you should, in fact, care about soccer. 

1. Because like, le duh, 'MERICA 
2. The sport exist in over 200 countries, the U.S. included, so let's get with the times. 
3. It only happens every four years, you can spare a month. 

     Now I know being in South where we only care about the "real football" there is quite a bit of confusion on the rules of the game. For starters there are eleven players on the field (aka, the pitch) including the goalie. Besides the goalie, other positions include - strikers/forwards, defenders, and midfielders. 

     A standard game consists of two 45 minute periods with a 15 minute halftime in between. There is usually added time at the end of the second period to make up for the running clock during penalties and injuries. 

     One of the most exciting parts of the game to me is if the game ends in a tie. This will lead to a penalty shootout to decide the winner. Five players from each team will kick one-on-one with the goalie from the opposing team into the same goal. The most goals at the end wins the game. 

     

 Some other basic knowledge:

• Throw in- whichever team causes the ball to go out of bounds, the other team gets to throw it back in
• Goal Kick - if the ball crosses the goal line without scoring a goal and the ball was touched by a player of the attacking team; the ball is given to the defending team
• Corner Kick - if the ball crosses the goal line without scoring a goal and the ball was touched by a player of the defending team; the ball is given to the attacking team
• Indirect Free Kick - awarded to the team the fouled team. A goal may not be scored without touching another player after this kick                  
• Direct Free Kick -awarded to the fouled team, a goal may be scored directly from this kick
• Penalty Kick - awarded to the fouled team, a direct free kick that happens inside the penalty area    (goal box)
• Yellow Card - penalty card for misconduct; caution or warning 
• Red Card - penalty card for misconduct; dismissal from the game 

Stay Sassy - A. 

(Photos courtesy of FIFA) 

Puppy Tips From A New Pup Mom

      So my last post stirred up some interest, as in my mother was less than thrilled. While that's disappointing I cannot help but be proud, because for the first time my blog got over 100 views. 449 views to be exact, so thank you.

      As the semester ended and my life in Auburn got a little less busy I frantically searched for a summer job. After finding an ideal summer job I began BEGGING for a dog. I have no boyfriend, no roommate, I'm practically destitute and alone. I NEEDED a dog- this argument continued for days until my parents grew tired of hearing me talk about it conceded to my argument.
      I set some limits for myself like 1. no puppies 2. a medium sized breed 3. house trained - Well it's safe to say I didn't follow any of those and I ended up with my wonderful puppy Mr. Banks. Now, as much as I love him and have probably already spoiled him I do admit to getting myself into quite a tiring and time consuming situation.
     I've comprised 7 puppy tips for people who are contemplating getting a puppy to consider from my point of view.

1. Put anything and everything you don't want chewed on high enough that it cannot be reached by your new four-legged friend. 
2. Get them on a schedule, for all things will revolve around their nap time. 
3. Go ahead and get comfortable with yelling. You're going to be doing a lot of that. 
4. Don't be afraid to hurt the pups feelings, it's a necessary evil. 
5. If you give them an old pair of shoes to chew on, they will most likely chew on all shoes. 
6. Start discipline early. Just because it's cute when they're little doesn't mean it'll still be cute when they're older. 

Last but certainly not least… 

    

       7.   Love your puppy. The more love you show him or her the more love they'll show you. 

Stay Sassy - A. 

11 Things Girls Wished Boys Knew

     So, I've been thinking a lot lately about gender roles, double standards and dating. I've got some of the best friends a girl could ask for. A few of those friends even have some pretty great boyfriends. Throughout life my friends and I have had some pretty interesting encounters with the opposite sex. Now, I'm not saying we're experts but we have learned a little from our mistakes and our victories.
     With the help of my partners in crime I've created a list of things that girls wished boys knew. Things that will help both sides of any partnership, friendship or relationship.

1. We just want you to tell us we're pretty, even though we already know.  
2. Just because we're girls doesn't mean we don't do gross things sometimes. Deal with it. 
3. Don't pretend you like us, sometimes we just want the same things you do. 
4. We want to dance and we want you to dance with us. 
5. Don't get butt-hurt, like ever, about anything. You shouldn't be a bigger girl than we are. 
6. We might just be having sex but we deserve respect nonetheless.          R-E-S-P-E-C-T. 
7. Please, just text us first. You have no idea how much it means to us. 
8. Just because you saw it on a porn doesn't make it real life. 
9. We might be girls, and yes we have a reputation of being fragile but trust me, we'd rather be hurt with the truth than comforted with a lie. 
10. Don't tell us our legs are prickly. We know we didn't shave. Sorry not sorry. 
11. There is a big difference between being nice and flirting. If you're confused just ask. 

Stay Sassy- A. 

Chipped Nails

     Well, here I am. Three margs deep, with nowhere to go. Which is basically the story of my life. So as I sit here tipsy and debating my life choices, like a true 20-something lush, I'm hit with one understated truth.

No matter how many coats of polish you put on, your nails are still going to chip. 

      On Fridays I watch Bride Day on TLC. Which can be both wonderful and really terrible at the same. While I love to be involved in weddings that aren't mine, I am faced with the reality that I will most likely never be one of those girls. 

   

   Once people get past the initial shock of my name or my hair, I'm basically mediocre and like any other girl in the world. Overestimated. That might be the best word to describe me.

Anyway, all this comes down to- your nails are always going to chip

      As I type, take notes, go to class, open my umbrella, cook my lunch, order my milkshake, fix my hair,  fix my face, at the dog park, in the car, on the couch, my nails constantly take a hit. I could carry around the polish in my purse, constantly fixing any minor chip and in the next second another nail would be damaged. 

   

   Much like life, no matter what you do you're going to take hits. You're going to have to do something you don't like and people are going to keep chipping pieces of you away. You're going to be used and abused and put in situations that you aren't made for. 

And dammit, you're going to chip. 

     It's in those moments, that you feel completely stripped and have no more polish that you truly shine. It's in those moments that you show what you are truly made of and show how truly strong you are. 

     Now, it may only last a week or a few days or just a few hours but you prove to yourself that you can handle it. 

And then you know what? You just paint your nails again. 

     Even though we know the paint will never last, we paint our nails anyway. We set ourselves up for it. We don't always want our nails to be pink or red or black. We change, we grow, just like our nails. Every stage is new and different. 

     So keep adding layers of polish. Keep fixing those chips, but always know when it's time to strip down and change colors. 

Stay Sassy - A. 

Let 'em Go

      I usually don't preface my writing with videos. They go at the end to reinforce something I've said, but this time I'd like to start with a video that I can't seem to get out of my mind.  So if you would, watch this clip of Madea before you read this post.

Let 'em Go 

       To write this I had to come to terms with some facts that I've been ignoring for a very long time.  Like Madea says some people mix up short term people with long term, fall in love, and then wonder why they can't find peace. I sadly, am one of those people. 

      For years I've let myself be an option all the while doing everything I possibly could to make myself a priority. But you know what?  If someone doesn't want to be a part of your life there is nothing you can do to make them - a hard lesson to learn. 

To borrow from Madea - If someone doesn't want to be a part of your life, LET THEM GO. 

      

I think loving someone makes it harder to give up on them. Giving up is made doubly hard when you know they love you back, but sometimes love just isn't enough. 

     Love should come from the roots, not the branches or the leaves. It should work with you to make you stronger, like the roots of a tree. It shouldn't simply take from you without giving nothing in return, like the leaf. 

"If you tell someone what they're doing is hurting you and I need you to stop and they keep doing it. 

They don't care, move on, LET THEM GO."

     What's worse is that most people's problem is having to be alone - that's why they don't want to give up. Well, I've been alone, so I can't use that line. I've been holding on to something that died a long time ago. I like to call it hope but it's probably more like blindness. 

      

When it's time to move on, you'll know, but you'll have to chose if it's what you want to do. Take it from me, it's easier to move on than it is to hold on. Because, when it's over, that's it and life will go on whether you're on the bus or not. 

       So be depressed, cry about it, but move on. No one says it'll be easy and no one expects you to be ok. 

       One step at a time, one day at a time, but it all starts with

 LETTING THEM GO.  

Stay Sassy, A. 

Welcome to Auburn, the greatest place on Earth… or not

Welcome to Auburn, the greatest place on Earth. 

That's what the sign should say would you roll into town, but it doesn't. Probably because it isn't true. No matter it's level of truth I've had SEVERAL students from Auburn tell me that. 

Well, I must be missing something because I can think of a lot of places I'd rather be. I credit this to a couple of reasons. The first being that those people have been here since their freshman year and the second being that small towns really are not for me. 

Now, the first reason should not be as big an issue as it is and with all certainty I blame Auburn for this experience. I think that as a graduate student coming in from a different university my experience has been completely different and not at all desirable. 

I've been here for a semester and I still get lost on campus. The only buildings I know are the ones I have class in. I know nothing about the clubs, events or organizations on campus. Unless, it's a football home game I spend limited time even on campus. 

As an entering grad student I got a quick hour long info session, a t-shirt, then sent on my way. In a small department where all my fellow students have also come from other universities we have all had a similar experience. More should be done to show incoming graduate students what Auburn has to offer. Sadly, instead of never wanting to leave we are counting down the days until graduation. 

There is something going very wrong when a school has a student that wants to quit daily - and not because of workload. I understand that I came here for an education not to make friends or party, but without those what is life? 

I live for weekends when I can convince out of town friends to visit. I wouldn't say I was unhappy, but I could say I wasn't happy. I seem to live life in a constant "whatever" mindset. 

School, home, school, home, bed, and repeat. 

Welcome to Auburn, the greatest place on Earth. 

Welcome to Auburn, the place that you can live in 6 months and still feel like a stranger. 

Stay Sassy, Be Happy - A.

I Am A Leo

      It's no secret dating is hard, there is too much pressure. Especially the older you get and everyone your age is getting married. It's scary stuff. I think it's even scarier when you have several dating experiences that always end the same way. You start questioning yourself. Was it my fault? Am I too (insert adjective)? Should I change?

      These are some questions that have been floating around in my head recently. If you know me you know I have a strong personality and can be set in my ways. I know what I want, if I actually want anything, and I'm not afraid to tell you. My honesty is abrupt and most of the time mistaken for rudeness. I'm easy going and other's decisions don't always affect me. My indifference is taken for playing hard to get, leading to hurt feelings and end of relationships. Ultimately, I've decided that I can only date an asshole or someone with an equally strong personality. 

       In recent years I've become interested in the Zodiac world. I like to see characteristics of my sign and see if they truly apply to me. I'm a leo and I fully believe that this does play into my personality and my dating problem. Last week I ran my natal chart and it came back with TONS of information about my particular sign. 

I'm going to put a few points below that struck a chord in me. 

• Although on the surface, Leo's appear rather confident, they can actually be some of the most humble souls around. 
• You don't always see that you are your own worst enemy. You may long to be important in the eyes of the world,yet you harbor fear of success.
• You are more attached to the game than the player, and this is something to work on if you are looking to find true fulfillment. 
• You thrive on change and variety. You make a fun companion and an interesting friend. You listen. 
• She doesn't take like too seriously in the sense that she believes in having a bit of fun. 
• Might sometimes come across too strongly or offend sensitive people. 
• She likes to speak and to write, and does with charm and artistry. 
• Their love is shown by criticizing. Trying to help. 
• She is devoted, does not show emotion: she does not let herself go, either through fear of ridicule or through fear of not being loved in return as much as she loves. 
• Your personal sense of style and manner are things that others find fascinating. 
• Independent in love. She tires quickly and is scared of losing her liberty. 
• She quite naturally accepts the idea that her partner might need some personal space and freedom.
• Cannot help being noticed, they radiate a special energy. 

    I only put these for two reasons: my faith in the zodiac has grown because it was spot on in my description and because I can now blame my love trouble on the fact that I'm a leo. 

    Now, this doesn't fix my love problems and I'm still asking myself all those questions. But, I don't think I'll change. I like how independent I am, even if it does cost me several future relationships. This lead me to think about the difference between change and growing up. Will I grow more in the future? Sure. Will that growth lead to change? Yes. Will I change simply to attempt to fix my lack of love? No way. To each his own, and one day there will be a him that my strong leo personality fits with. 

Stay Sassy, A. 

    If you want to figure out your natal chart, which I recommend, click here for the link. 

Hardball

     I think today we grow up with unrealistic expectations about life. I relate this back to the Great Depression when people would escape to the movies in order to forget about the hardships happening to and around them. Except we don't just escape, we bring it back with us and that is why movies have ruined our expectations. 
     They are a vision of a perfect situation. The meet-cute. The courtship. And ultimately, the happily ever after. We idealize it. Boys are supposed to be romantic, remembering our favorite flower and our half-birthday. Girls are supposed to be bubbly, never too mad and don't poop. 
      Well, NEWSFLASH - girls do poop and boys only know roses and daisies. This is not just me being pessimistic, just realistic. 


All of this has lead to a very vicious cycle. 

• Girl likes boy
• Boy thinks girl is ok
• They date
• Boy watches too much ESPN
• Girl gets too emotional 
• They argue 
• Both blame each other
• They break up

     They key problem here is "both blame each other." Neither party is willing to admit guilt. All because the cute romantic comedy showed us how perfect it could be. 

     

     Something I don't think we realize until it's over was the take and take exchange between the parties. This is what I refer to as "hardball." 

    Playing hardball becomes the foundation of day to day interactions. It feeds of the resentment you have been harboring since the beginning and it happens with such ease you don't even see it coming. 

      First, he's late picking you up for the third time that week. In return, you "accidentally" use all the hot water in the shower so his shower is cold. Next, he misses your grandmothers birthday party and you let it slip to his friends that he loves getting his nails done. And before you know it he's no longer doing anything nice for you and you are no longer doing him. Deadlock. Hardball.

      Whether it be love or comfort or habit that keeps you together you stay together and the game continues. Both too full of pride and resentment to be the first one to give and so the days play on and hardball continues. This is what our relationships have become - petty hardball sets in the greater match of the relationship. We've come to accept this behavior and worse to expect it. I don't even know how to take a compliment from a boy because it's been so long since I've heard a sincere one. 

       That's my point - there should be nothing "hard" about love. It shouldn't be "take and take" it should be "give and take." Both wanting nothing and yet giving everything. That's a real relationship. 

       It doesn't need a meet-cute or some fantasy movie date. It only needs two people, mutual weirdness and a sense of personal responsibility.  Happily ever after may not really exists in reality, but I think we can settle on a more real sense of happy. 

                                  Stay Sassy, A. 

       

2014

2014. 

     We're eight days in and with every day another glorious plan for the future is made. A new year is a weird concept. "A clean start" they say, but that's not true. You don't just lose the bad decisions and bad luck because of a new year. 
     This year I decided to make a few resolutions. Resolutions I made because of my past and the future I hope for. I don't wish for a "clean start" my stains will ultimately lead me to better decisions. 
      I'm only going to share a few for the sake of this post. 
       
      1.  Try to be a nicer human.  

I'm not necessarily a mean person, but I do realize that I'm a negative person. I vow to try and be more positive. I don't want to bring people down with my negativity, but rather lift them up with positive words. Or maybe this just means not saying anything if I don't have any helpful words. (It's going to be a work in progress) In hopes of becoming someone people want to be around I will work on this flaw. 


      2.  Not to be selfish. 

I think it's human nature to be a little selfish. It's natural to want everything and yet, give nothing in return. I think to define selfishness would be situational. Everyone has their own definition, but I think they all share compromise. Again, I'm not the most selfish person out there but I do see room for improvement. 

    These two resolutions aren't huge life changing ideas. They aren't going to be noticeable to everyone. I'm not doing them for attention. I'm doing them because I realize that these two things take a toll on those around me. With the risk of sounding cocky, I do know that I am a good time. I know people enjoy my company. However, I equally realize that people can only take so much of a bad attitude before they want to punch you in the face, or worse, stop being your friend. I sort of like the friends I have, I would hate to lose them because I refused to see my flaws. 
     As 2014 really gets going I hope everyone turns to themselves. Ask yourself how you can be a better human being. Don't just accept things as they are things can always be better and I'm willing to bet that you can contribute to that betterment. 

Happy New Year and Stay Sassy- A.