Friday, November 8, 2013

A Look Behind The Screen

    
   
     There are a lot of people who will never understand my love of writing. Just like I probably will never understand there love of not writing. I never set out to be a writer, a term I don't even like to call myself. Hemingway or Wilde, they were writers. Who am I to call myself a writer? I'm just a silly girl who sits behind a screen and tells her stories to the internet. 
       What most people don't realize though is that I never even wanted to be a writer. I can't say that I actually ever wanted to be anything. Growing up I saw myself rich and famous but that was an end, I never saw the means. 
        Writing just kind of chose me. It was something that I was semi-good at and didn't completely hate. Unlike science, which I was really good at and ,much to my mother's dismay, didn't care for. 
        In the 8th grade I wrote a paper on fashion journalism where I interviewed, via email, other fashion journalist and designers. That's why as I sit here almost 10 years later still on that track my mind is blown. 
       What people don't realize is the only reason I picked that topic in the 8th grade was because I liked to dress up and I watched too much Gilmore Girls. Rory (a character on the show) wanted to be a journalist. So sure, why not combine the two? And now, here I am 10 years later on a career path I chose because of the TV show I watched. 
    Fate? Luck? Chance? Who knows. The only thing I know is that I love to write. 
       The tricky part is I only like to write about certain things. Currently, I'm doing a lot of writing for school that I don't like. I take refuge in my blogs. Being able to sit and pour out words important or not is my salvation. Whether anyone reads it or not is irrelevant. I don't do it for them. (Not that high post views isn't nice.) 
       My blog is my confessional. It has the ability to absorb all my secrets. Secrets I don't even tell friends. I blame the Leo in me for that. Too proud and what not. So tonight, I purge myself of some of those secrets and pray I sleep easy. 
  • I only listen to sad music when I blog, and usually just in general. 
  • I don't think I'll ever be satisfied with my life. 
  • I have more regrets than I choose to remember. 
  • I don't think I'll ever grasp proper comma usage
  • All I want is to please my family. 
  • I will never get lay, lain, laid.. etc right. NEVER.
  • I pretend to care less than I really do. 
  • Getting to dress up is my only motivation to go to church. 
  • I deleted two off this list because I'm not ready to accept the consequences.
Writing isn't for everyone, but it can be good for the soul, but so can a bottle of champagne. 
Stay Sassy, A. 

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