Mostly the same series. Then one day the main character talks about how she’s in love with two men. I got to thinking about what I would do if that happened to me. I know what it’s like to be in love and I can’t imagine it happening at the same time. How would I ever choose between them?
All that is neither here nor there. I’m sure a pro/con list would be made. Then, ultimately, in the end I would lose them both because of my indecision to choose.
I’m smart, not genius level by any means, but I can hold my own. The problem I’ve developed recently is laziness. I don’t have the drive that used to catapult me through every day. I’ve tossed around some ideas for this new development and all I can come up with is my uncertainty levels are too high.
It’s just like when you have a mountain of homework and have no clue where to begin so you take a nap instead. I am so overwhelmed with thoughts of the future I don’t want to deal with any of it. Even as I type this I’m aware of how dramatic I sound. Ridiculous. I’ve got my sad song playlist singing out too. I’m one more Dixie Chicks song away from full on wallowing mode.
And for what? My life is going in the right direction. Full ride to Auburn for grad school. Supportive friends and family. I have successfully made it to 22 years old.
I need some sort of affirmative action in my life. I’m still waiting for the day when everything just makes sense. However, I become more convinced every day that only happens in fiction. We here in the real world are left to our own devices. Justifying and explaining our lives to ourselves and others.
An impossible task unless we first accept it ourselves. Airlines had it right. How can we possibly help our neighbor if we don’t put our mask on first. Selfishness has become an acceptable behavior when it leads to the betterment of others. We cannot begin to bet on the cards we’re dealt until we’ve had a chance to look at them.
I think I’ve hit my metaphor limit. Moving on.
Once you’ve had a chance to look at the cards in your pile you make a plan. You are given a chance to see what you’ve been dealt and the time to decide how you can take them and turn them into winners. Life is just one big gamble on the cards of chance. Accept what you’ve been given, but never be too afraid to go all in. Casinos are 24/7 if you lose don’t worry, you’ll be dealt another set.
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