But lately I've been... sad maybe that's the right word. Or maybe down is a better fit. Nothing I seem to do gets my out my funk. Maybe it's because graduation looms over me. Being pushed out into the pre-real world. A two year stop in a new town once again where I have to make all new friends. A fact that has made me cling to my old friends even tighter. We're all growing up, moving on with our lives. Starting the next chapter.
There is constant turmoil in my life. Raised in classic southern family where ignoring problems is the norm. This is becoming a daily struggle. Tip toeing around people's feelings. Trying not to piss anyone off. I want everyone to like me, to be proud of me.
With all of these accomplishments lately I can't help but feel good about myself. Something I rarely let myself do for the fact that it hurts worse when you fail. I remain, above all, a realist. Even if it means I come across as a pessimist.
As I tip toe through my daily routine I ask myself am I good enough. Will it ever be enough for the people in my life? Will the good ever out weigh the bad? Will the transgressions ever be forgiven? How long will I live my life for other people? I want to be accepted, but isn't it my life?
Too many daily questions adding un-needed stress to my life. School, job, internship and whatever social life I can manage after that.
I don't want to seem like I'm on a soapbox, but there's not a lot in my world that I'm sure of. There are not a lot of things I can control or that are constant. There are however two things that hit me today that will be constant. They were constant before my time and will live on after I'm gone. Two things that give me comfort in knowing their truth.
1. Dolly Parton is one of greatest American woman our planet will ever see. If I kiss you will you go away
Those two things will hopefully get me through my funk or at least until graduation.
( Perfect Mix ) And sometimes they can meet in perfect harmony.
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