What Are You Going To Do?

     Recently I've been saying "what are you going to do" a lot, like a lot a lot. It's a time honored question we ask ourselves probably everyday. After any sort of situation arises where choices must be made and yet we refuse to make them. It's an excuse really. We ask it because we know the real answer  and because we have no real desire to face the consequences of our actions. 

     At the ripe young age of 21 I find myself faced with life decisions to make. With graduation looming in the very near future growing up is bringing the Peter Pan out in me. I cling to freshman year me who only wanted to fit in, drink, party, and find the man who would become Mr. Abbi-Storm. Now four years later I'm being forced to admit that I can no longer live that life. My bedtime firmly set at 11:00, my metabolism slowing more everyday, my drinking saved for the weekends, bar make-out sessions no longer acceptable, and not knowing the meaning of the newest IM's. That is my reality now. 

     I cannot pretend to be perfect no matter how much I wish I could. I cannot pretend that there are not things in my life that I would go back to change. I'm fairly certain that we all would change some past decision, but that's life right? The real truth being that we can't go back, and dwelling on things we wish to change won't fix anything. We can only move forward from where we are. From where the choices we did take brought us. Is it the path we're supposed to be on? I believe that answer is yes. I HAVE to believe the answer is yes, that everything happens for a reason. If I didn't I would only be making my life miserable. 

     Being a Debbie Downer may affect the people in your life, but at the end of the day it really only affects you. You can sit there and glare at everyone who has pissed you off or done you wrong. I bet they're not glaring back at you are they? The thing about being a Debbie Downer is something inside you has made you want to bring others down to where you are. Which works for a little while. Until people start to realize life is passing them by and they are wasting it being "down." Soon it's just the Debbie left to be down alone. Don't be the Debbie, don't be the person who can't seem to move on from where they are. To take the path they made and make something of it. We can only move forward, and I haven't known too many Debbie's who have done so. 

     I guess what all this leads to is what am I really going to do? I am going to keep asking myself that instead of answering it? Am I going get rid of my inner Peter Pan and start to grow up? I don't have all the answers, and I probably never will. What I do have however is a path. A path I accept more and more everyday. I have made friends, I have lost friends. I have made decisions and I have ignored questions. 

So what am I going to do about it?

 I'm going to live my life the way I want, to make the best life possible with the path that I have created.